Many reasons can lead to a relationship that was once strong and committed ending in one of the partners asking for divorce. You could have:

Affair

• Having been separated for a prolonged period of time by long distances

Conflict

One spouse may have behavioral or psychological issues

Even unmanaged addictive behaviors can be managed.

Irrespective of the problems, divorce is possible when the spouses lose their ability to support themselves financially.

Anger or conflict does not need to lead to an unresolved rift among partners. Even difficult situations can be overcome with good communication and shared love for the marriage. How can a spouse save their relationship if one of them is on the verge of leaving?

What can you do if your spouse is asking for divorce?

First, you must recognize that YOU HAVE A CHOICE. When faced with a crisis we often feel trapped and unable to make decisions. What can you do to change situations that involve another person’s decisions or feelings?

We can control our reactions to situations, but we must not and MUST NOT manipulate or threaten another person’s mind. You must remember that you have complete control of your actions and reactions.

The opportunity exists to examine your inner world and accept responsibility for your actions. You can also take a personal inventory of your spouse’s messages. Is there anything in your relationship that needs to be fixed?

Respond appropriately and proactively if so.

Let me tell you, there is a catch. Either you choose to be angry and in pain or to love your partner more. Either you choose to blame or shame your spouse, or you choose to look at the situation and take responsibility for it. Then you can move forward towards happier, more fulfilled marriages.

You heard me. In times of crisis, you can be happy and fulfilled.

You can change your partner even if they are stubborn or unresponsive. This will allow you to be as positive, proactive, and engaged as when you fell in love. Most often, one of the couple will look back at their relationship and remember the times when it was easier to be together.

These days can be captured again, and you could even enhance them by growing and maturing. You didn’t spend the years following your wedding to get nothing. Your spouse and you have invested a lot in this marriage.

You can show your partner that you are committed by showing positive love and open communication.

Be a loving spouse by taking care of your partner in everyday activities. You can be there when you were too busy working. You may not have allowed your partner to spend enough time alone before.

When the time is right, you can openly communicate with your spouse. Ask him/her if you realize how difficult a divorce might be. Is your spouse aware that divorce can have serious financial, emotional and physical effects?

Divorce is a major life-changing event. Is your spouse ready to accept a divorce?

You also have the option of involving a mediator or third party to assist you and your spouse in this difficult situation.

Get help if the situation becomes serious. Do not let pride stop you from taking control of the situation. You can seek out a professional counselor, elder friend or neutral person to help you see the bigger picture and help with deep-seated issues or concerns.

 It could be that your partner wants more attention, or you want to have more opportunities to talk to them.